New Year's Thoughts

I couldn't think yesterday, on January 1st, because we got home at 3:30 am from Praise! night at Knott's Berry Farm. Todd Agnew's concert was awesome - up, close and personal; Kutless was great, of course, Addison Road was cute because the lead singer is preggo, and we ended the night two seats back from Brandon Heath's mike. Great way to celebrate the new year!

Okay, this is my first blog. I'm going to list five pet peeves and ten great things in my life.
Pet peeve #1 - machines that nag. I'm tired of my microwave beeping every couple minutes when I have finished cooking something, or my drier buzzing every couple minutes. Or the car going ding-ding-ding. I know it's to help those of us are who go through life brain-dead half the time (like me), but it still gets on my nerves.
Pet peeve #2 - cigarette smoke - living in California we hardly ever have to be poisoned by second-hand smoke, but there was actually someone smoking at Knott's Berry Farm Praise Night! The nerve of him! I even get bugged when someone is smoking in their car with the window open - it comes in my car. Yuck! I had more than my fair share of second-hand smoke when I was a kid, thank you very much!
Pet peeve #3 - friends who I grow to love and then they just drop out of my life. You never write, you never call.... I loved you, didn't you love you me? Facebook has helped me reconnect with some. I suppose I'll see everyone (Christ followers anyway) in heaven someday, but that is a long time to wait and wonder whether that person ever wonders about you.
Pet peeve #4 - people who adopt a dog as part of their family, welcome the dog into the home, take family Christmas cards with the dog(s) as their "kids", then when real kids come along the dogs get banished. Kids love dogs! Dogs love kids! Dogs can be messy, but the mess can be cleaned. Let them be part of the family!
Pet peeve #5 - My inability to find a church home and Christian friends. We've been on a five year journey. We had to leave our church of sixteen years where we were "family." The events surrounding the departure, and the lack of support from some friends was such devastating that I have been wandering in the desert, in the great depression of my soul, for five years. Yes, I have had respites - the delight in my granddaughters, the joy of my son's wedding, occasional connections with the Lord at moments at different churches, and a good year before we moved from our old town at CLA. Yes, I have tried reconnecting with God - bible study, prayer, not assuming anything about my life but placing all my trust in Him. I used to dwell with God. I felt His Presence daily. Now I occasionally glimpse his glory. I know some of it may be a lesson about trusting feelings - I trusted my feelings about people and that got me in big, big trouble. I know God will be faithful to complete His work in me. However, all I want to do right now is be able to worship God in a corporate setting without so much pain. We've tried several churches down here. We actually joined one that offered impacting sermons, spirit led worship, prayer centered fellowship. However when I showed up the week after my son's wedding and realized I had not a single friend to show them to (after attending regularly for a year and 3 months) we decided it was time to look again. We're going to try going to a home group this evening at the church we're trying now.
Our church was our family, our friends were from our church. To go to church and have no connections with other people is so hard. To have no memories. To feel my way through worship songs. To have the few worship songs that I remember fill me with beautiful memories that devastate my soul because of the loss of those people in my life.
I miss God. I miss His people.
I guess that's my number one New Year's Resolution - become part of a church where we can make Christian friends.

Okay, enough sadness.
Here are ten good things:

1. Nayeli, my 2 year old granddaughter. One favorite moment from our visit at Christmas... She was eating breakfast and bit her tongue or inside lip. After being ministered to by mommy she returned her attention to breakfast. I was hovering at the end of the table, not sure if I should help Rhiannon or sit down and eat breakfast. Nayeli looked at me through sleep tangled hair with tear-filled eyes and said in a croaking voice "eat your breakfast, grandma." So I did.
2. Eliora, my almost 4-month old granddaughter. She is a mellow little snug bug. She fits on my shoulder just perfect. We hypnotize each other when I'm walking her to settle her. She smiles huge tongue filled smiles on command. I can make her laugh. She has brown eyes like me and her mommy (Nayeli has beautiful blue eyes). Her sister says "I love tiny little sister very much."
3. Calvin and Kelli, our newlyweds. It is so fun to see them together. They are relaxed, funny, enjoying each other, complementing each other. They are better together then when they were apart. I wondered sometimes during their dating times because they could get on each other's nerves and get mad at each other. I don't see much of that now. Each is appreciating what their partner does for them, and they bring joy to visitors.
4. Jason and Rhiannon. They just recently bought a house (before Eliora was born, after Calvin was married... Eliora was born one month after the wedding so yes it was a busy time). Jason has taken ownership pride in the house and has done a tremendous job landscaping the yard and fixing up things around the house. Rhiannon now loves to cook (amazing), and she is working really hard to keep them on a strict budget. They do not want to make the mistake we made of going into debt. I am proud of them. They are wonderful parents - loving, fun, active, with appropriate limits and consequences. Working through potty training with Nayeli is not the easiest thing, and neither is trying to get Eliora to sleep a few hours straight, but they are working at it and mostly keeping their sanity. They depend on God. They have great friends. They have each other. And they have their parents.
5. Marty. I've known for years that I was married to someone special. He spoiled Rhiannon for Jason - Jason should be able to build anything or fix anything, just like Daddy. Marty is a master craftsman who has supposed our family with his handiwork, made a beautiful home for us out of a basic vacation cabin on the mountaintop, and is now building his own airplane! What amazes me more about Marty, however, is his love for me. I have had some crazy periods over the past few years. He has been patient, loving, and caring. He built me a wonderful kitchen at our old house and that's one of the few things I don't like about the new house, so he keeps our kitchen here clean (he says it's easier than building a new house). I was worried because I know that God has placed a call on his life. He was studying for the ministry at our previous church and that got interrupted. However, he prays with me every night now. His faith shows in his daily walk at work, with his students, and with his fellow teachers. With both the kids married and grown we depend on each other for companionship. One of the most enjoyable things we've been doing has to do with my sixth "happy thing."
6. Marty and I are getting in shape. I've struggled with weight most of my adult life. Marty sometimes gets into a period of running to lose weight. We've rarely ever tried the same thing at the same time. We are now in synch. Between the two of us we've lost over 80 pounds since July. We walk every day (he walks twice a day with the dogs). I work out with weights. We both bought new bicycles and we love our bike rides to Apollo Park. We want to try other bike adventures like along Venice Beach. We are sleeping better, our bodies are feeling better. Our bodies fit better when we hug! I've gone from size 20/22 (depending on brand) in pants to size 16/18. We want to be able to go hiking with our grandchildren. We want to be able to fit in Marty's airplane. We want to grow old together. We want to avoid surgeries. We're doing it through a physician-assisted weight loss program with nutritionist guidance, meal plans, medicines, monthly checkups, and exercise. I have a ways to go, but I'm proud of what I've done so far!
7. I love my job. (most of the time). I made the crazy decision a couple years ago to stay with my fourth graders and keep them through fifth grade. This is call "looping" with your class. 95% of my coworkers thought I was nuts, and the other 5% thought I was a saint. I did have some tough kids, but I showed them that I loved them and we grew to trust each other. I visited some at home, gave them books, tutored them after school for free, and gave them the chance to explain themselves when they made mistake. I'll never forget these kids. They're now in sixth grade and I love seeing how well they're doing! I've now got a new crop of fourth graders, and I was just getting to the point where I felt like I was past the "getting to know you," and teaching them how to work in my class when we had 2-1/2 snow days (yes, in the desert!). It will be fun to see them next week - I've missed them. I truly feel like this is what God wants me to do right now - make an impact on some kids.
8. Sandy, Ivy, and Misty. Sandy is our newest Alaskan Malamute. She is nine months old now, and beginning to settle down a little bit. Marty took her through training classes and she was the star of the class! She bosses Ivy around, who is twice her size. Once in awhile Ivy gives it right back to her. Ivy is the stealth dog. She is 120 pounds of sweetness, mellowness, and subtlety. Sandy, however, took after Ivy's mother, Quake (no relation). She has a mouth! She's still a puppy and she's still learning. Walking the dogs twice a day gives us a lot of laughs - Sandy has been frightened by trash cans, Halloween decorations, towels blowing in the breeze, and one special killer mailbox. (This mailbox was after our family, I swear). Misty is our cat - a rescue cat from my school. She has totally insinuated herself into our hearts. She rides Marty's shoulders around the house like a parrot. She cuddles under the covers. She and Sandy chase each other up and down the slippery hallways. She snuggles with Ivy. Our pets bring us a lot of laughter.
9. Facebook. I am really enjoying using facebook to keep up with friends and family, and to get in contact with people I've been out of touch with. It's fun and takes only a couple minutes a day. I've got relatives, friends I taught with, friends from college days, and friends from my old church. Good stuff.
10. Our house and neighborhood. I never thought we'd leave the mountaintop and move to the desert but we do love it here. Marty has room to work on his airplane in the garage (and I can talk to him without taking a hike), the dogs love our grassy backyard (with lots of bushes, trees, and boulders to explore), and we love the feel of the house. I do miss what Marty built in our old house - especially the custom kitchen and my walk-in closet (I have a walk-in closet here but it's not built to my exact specs!). However, we are comfortable here, it is clean, easy to keep organized (mountaintop cabins are not much on storage), and we love walking our quiet neighborhood. We now know many neighbors, dog-walkers, and runners by sight or name. We also enjoy being 5 minutes from almost any store or kind of restaurant. We can bicycle to Von's or Walgreen's. Before it was a half-hour trip to town, and then another 45 minutes to major stores or malls. Life was quiet on the mountaintop. Life was pretty there. Life was our family together. Now life is easier here. It's easier from here to take off to visit our grown, married kids - who have scattered to the middle of the Central Valley and the southern end of the Central Coast. We can also easily drive into L.A. for plays, concerts, or special events like Knott's Berry Farm's Praise New Year's Eve. Which brings me back to, Happy New Year!
- ahf